Thursday, 15 November 2012

Gone...but never to be forgotten!

                                 Wayne Goldthorpe, 1965

GOLDTHORPE, Wayne Kinkade - On Friday, November 9, 2012 at the age of 76. Husband of Marie for 51 years and father of Leslie, Andrea and the late Johanna. Loving brother of Louise, Dick (Eleanor), Olive (Reg), Georgina (Al) and Gord (Linda). Predeceased by brother Fred (Ruth). He will be remembered by his many nieces, nephews, family and friends. Wayne was a longtime employee of Bell Canada. He volunteered for many years with the Bell Pioneers helping with a summer camp for disabled children. He was also a Big Brother and an avid singer with the Invictones which entertained seniors and hospitals. Special remembrances from Brian and Debbie, Tim and Katy and their families. A Memorial Service will be held on Friday, November 16th at 2 p.m. at the R.S. Kane Funeral Home (6150 Yonge Street, at Goulding, south of Steeles). In lieu of flowers, donations can be made to Bereaved Families of Ontario- Toronto, 80 Woodlawn Avenue East, Toronto, ON, M4T 1C1 or to a charity of your choice
                                     Brian Weller, 1965
I was Wayne's first little brother. Wayne came into my life when he was just 27 and I was just 13, one year after my Toronto ex-policeman father passed on. I recall my mother saying that every boy needs a positive male role model in their life and she put my name on the agency list of prospective little brothers. I also recall sitting in the hallway at Big Brother House on Jarvis Street in the summer of 1963, feeling very apprehensive when I heard a door opening and Wayne came bounding up the stairs, but when he looked at me with his big, warm smile. I just knew he was OK!
Some of our more memorable times together would include going to the Saturday evening stock car races at Pinecrest and other tracks in his little Corvair with some time spent in the pits afterwards with drivers that he knew, like Bell workmate, Howie Scannell. I also recall visits with his Mom and Dad, sisters and brothers. The Goldthorpe family, and the Collins family too, always made me feel welcome.

Having a Big Brother was such a positive experience for me that at 21, I became a Big Brother in Toronto to a fatherless boy. I even played on the Big Brother's Hockey team where we played in charity tournaments. For a time in the early 70's, Wayne and I were asked to assist at the Orientation meetings together where we would introduce the agency to prospective Big Brothers. 

                     Big Brother's Oshawa/Whitby Hockey team
In the mid-70's, we bought our home and moved our young family out of town. I became a Volunteer with Big Brothers Oshawa-Whitby where I was introduced to another fatherless boy. I organized the Big Brother's Oshawa/Whitby Hockey team for charity games against all-star teams like the CFTO Bassetthounds, starring Dave Duval. After me, Wayne had taken on another little brother, Tim and he and Marie were busy raising their three girls while Deb and I were busy raising our four but Wayne and I never stopped talking. He would tell me what his girls were doing, in school and then work. Wayne loved his girls! 
It has now been 49 years that I have known Wayne and our friendship endured, although things had changed. In the last few years, it was me who picked him up, taking him to events that he enjoyed, like seeing Merle Haggard in Rama, Argo football and Leann Rimes and....
                             Loretta Lynn at Massey Hall. 

In fact, when I took him to see Loretta a couple of months ago, he was really excited. Wayne told me that... "Now that Doo is gone. I'm next in line. I would love to go". Before the show, we went out for a coffee and a little 'red neck' chat, like we usually did. When I showed him an email that my sister sent, "You should never have read Ayn Rand in the first place......or listened to Wayne", well, he looked real proud and gave me his big smile!  And at the show, well Loretta sounded great and looked like a Goddess, all aglow, at least from we where were sitting!
I learned so much from Wayne. Wayne was my best man at my wedding 40 years ago. Wayne was always there for me! Wayne taught me the importance of making choices, and being responsible for the results for if you want to know the results of your choices, just look at your best friend in the mirror. What you see are the choices you have made. I’m going to miss Wayne. To paraphrase, 'a Heart is not known for how much you love but how much you are loved by others'! 

Wayne and Marie took a hurting 13 year old child into their hearts so many years ago and for that I will always be grateful. Magic happened when Wayne stooped to help this child in need! Every Fatherless boy needs a Big Brother. Wayne's caring made a huge difference in my life. In the immortal words of Pablo Casals, "The child must know that he is a miracle, that since the beginning of the world there hasn't been, and until the end of the world there will not be, another child like him." Wayne understood this!
I can’t remember everything that Wayne said. I can’t remember everything that Wayne did. But i’ll never forget how Wayne made me feel. Wayne made me feel special. Wayne gave me the most precious gift of all - his time! The world has lost a gentle man whose generosity, wicked sense of humour and strong character will live on in the memories of those of us who were lucky enough to spend some time with him.

Brian Weller,
November 15, 2012

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