Friday, 16 November 2012

Wife feels sexually neglected?

Dear Reader,

I am bringing the following article, verbatim to enable discussion and debate about what too many (most?) baby boomers are dealing with today. My response is below and as always, I look forward to your comments...


Wife feels sexually neglected — but husband might be feeling scared


by Ellie, the Toronto Star advice columnist,

Q: I’ve been married for 26 years. I’m not bad looking because I’m a beautician and know how to take care of myself. I also work out in the gym and don’t feel ashamed of my body. I feel that my husband has lost interest in me.

We’re having sex only once a week, and when we do it last only five or 10 minutes. Once in a month or two, there might be more sex, and longer. He’s 53 and uses some methods to stay with it for longer, but only when it suits him. When we sleep together, he never touches me and I always just see his back.
What is wrong? I’m tired of always making the first step toward having sex......Feeling Neglected

A: While you’re feeling overlooked he may be feeling awkward, embarrassed or even scared. Men of his age sometimes find a change in their sexual stamina. Some develop erectile dysfunction.
This is common, but many men don’t realize this or that there are treatments for it, so they just back off sex as much as possible.

It’s unfortunate for any partner and could be unhealthy for your husband, as any change such as this calls for a medical checkup to ensure there’s no health issue involved. You should also be aware that studies in the United States, for example, find that for the majority of couples married for over ten years, once-weekly sex is most common.

However, since it’s a change for you two, you need to find out why. And it has nothing to do with your looks or figure. Even if there’s no health factor, he’s less comfortable with his own sexual image, not yours.

So start boosting him as the man you love, without pressuring him for intercourse. Cuddle, stroke, let him talk about whatever is on his mind. When you “see his back” in bed, touch him, fondle him and say loving things. It’s a proven start.

my response....

Granted, I may be justifiably accused of having a decidedly one-sided point of view, the fact remains that women draw their strength from men and give it back again! Men, by our nature absorb the pressures and sometimes, should the pressure get to be too great at any particular time, it can be wise for the women in our lives to appreciate the situation....and work with it! As long as there is good will on both sides, anything is possible! I'm sure their husbands would appreciate a little consideration at these moments and maybe...just maybe, the couple could grow a little closer together? Just a thought!


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